If Only She Knew
by BraveAtHeart
Summary: You never know how much you have until it's gone. /Jade's gone, and Tori/Cat can't deal with it very well. Catorade friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I've been reading a lot of stories like this, and was inspired to do my own. I really hope all you Jori/Cade/Catorade lovers enjoy this one! **

**WARNING: VERY SAD. If you don't like that, turn back now. Well it may not be that sad, seeing as I don't know how to write sad stories very well…k I'll shush now.**

**Summary: Jade's gone, and Tori/Cat are trying to learn how to deal with it.**

Chapter One: Losing Her – Tori POV

At 3:30 on Friday night, if you'd told me Jade West was going to get in a fatal car accident, I would have punched you in the face and told you to never talk to me again.

Unfortunately, you would have been right.

It seemed like a normal day after we left school. We were talking and laughing without a care in the world.

We got in our cars, separate of course, and we drove home.

But not all of us made it home that night. All but one.

Let me just go back and relive the memory for you, as hard as it will be, so you can see everything.

*FLASHBACK*

I started up my car with a smile on my face. Jade was actually being nice to me and Cat today, and we were all getting along perfectly. It's never happened before. Who wouldn't be happy?

I decided to turn on the radio and see if anything good was on. There was something good on. The song was called "Dancing With Tears in My Eyes" by Ke$ha.

My phone started ringing. It was Jade.

I picked my phone up and clenched it between my shoulder and my cheek to I could talk and drive. I turned the music down a little so I could hear her.

"Heyyy!" I said, in a happy voice. I could practically see Jade smiling through the phone.

"Hey. Look…I just wanted to talk to you about something. You know how I'm always so mean…well I don't want to be. I want to change. It's just my personality, always has been, but I need to change that right now. I need to be a better person. Can you help me? And do you forgive me for being mean to you?" said Jade.

I was about to say that of course I forgive her and would help her, but the worst sound I could ever hear came through the phone at that moment. It still haunts me in my thoughts, my dreams…everything.

"OH MY GOD!" Jade yelled, terrified. I heard a crashing sound, the sound of breaking glass, and repeated screams from Jade. All the sudden all the noises stopped. So did my heart.

"J-Jade?" I said after a silence louder than thunder. My heart started to beat again, but it was fast, and my breathing was heavy.

No noise.

"J-Jade? Come on, answer me!" I cried.

Suddenly, I heard a faint noise. A groan.

"T-tori?" came Jade's weak and raspy response. I lost it. tears started pouring down my face, and I was shaking with no chance of controlling it.

"Come on Jade stay with me, okay? I can see your car from here," I said through my crying. I could see her old black truck in a ditch only a few yards ahead.

"Don't…you…dare….hang…up," she said between breaths. Every breath she took sounded painful. I heard a gurgling sound, which didn't sound very promising.

"I won't. I can see you, I'm pulled up to the ditch, and I'm getting out. Do you see me?" I asked Jade.

She took in another painful breath and whispered yes.

I threw my phone into my car through the open window and ran down to Jade's truck, which was so beat up it was barely recognizable. It was flipped over so that the bed of the truck was facing downward.

"JADE!" I yelled, trying to get on the ground to see her. I found her in all the mess.

She turned and looked at me, and I was disturbed by her condition.

She reached out her hand, and I had to choke down a sob that was rising in my throat.

I grabbed her hand, her oh-so-fragile hand, and looked her in the eyes. The usual fire that burned in her icy eyes was nothing more than a mere spark now. The embers still burned, but barely. The ashes were already cooling.

"You're gonna be alright, understand? Now I'm gonna flip the truck over. I know its gonna hurt and I'm sorry, but its for your own good. Can I?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

Jade took in a quivering breath and nodded her approval, then shut her eyes tight.

I don't know how I did it, for I am like the weakest kid you've ever met, but I used all the strength I possessed and flipped that truck over. I almost regretted it when I heard the ear piercing scream.

I thought it was coming from Jade, but she just sat there silently crying from the pain all over her body.

I turned back to see Cat getting out of her car and running down to us.

"Jade!" she yelled, looking through the broken window of the truck. Jade saw Cat and tried to reply, but didn't have the strength to. She just stared at her with her eyes full of sorrow and anguish.

Cat put her hand up to her mouth, and her face turned a deep red. Knowing what was going to happen next, I wrapped my arms around her as she started to cry. I realized the only hope of saving Jade was if we called 911 right now.

"Cat…Kitty, listen for a minute. I'm gonna go call 911, you call Beck and Andre, even Robbie, ok? Don't worry, Jade's gonna be fine," I said, trying to reassure her. truth be told, no matter how many times I said "Jade's gonna be ok" I wasn't sure if I believed it myself.

Cat just nodded and got her phone out.

I turned to Jade.

"Hang in there ok?" I said. Jade nodded, but winced as she did so.

I ran up to my car and grabbed my phone, shakily dialing 911.

"Hello, what's your emergency?" came the woman on the other end. I composed myself for just long enough to talk to her.

"My friend Jade drove into a ditch by accident, she's seriously injured!" I said, trying my hardest not to cry again.

"Where are you?" asked the lady.

"On the corner about 30 yards from Hollywood Arts if you're coming in from the north," I said, looking around and making my best estimate. (**A/N: I just made that up.)**

"Alright, we know exactly where you are. Help is on the way," said the lady.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I said, hanging up. I ran back down to Jade and Cat.

Cat was on the phone with Beck, I could hear his screams from the other end.

"OH MY GOD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" he yelled. Cat winced.

"I'm so sorry Beck! I called Andre and Robbie already. Just get here quick!" cried Cat, wiping the tears off of her face. I paced nervously around, my eyes locked on Jade. She was just sitting there, fighting to stay awake.

I walked up to the window and reached my hand in.

Jade tried to smile, I think, and she grabbed my hand.

I heard police sirens and almost went towards them, but Jade gripped my hand tighter.

"Don't leave me here alone!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.

"I'll never let you go," I replied, choked up with tears. I held her hand until the police had to tear me away from her.

**One Hour Later – Waiting Room of the Hospital – Cat POV**

Jade. Of all people, it had to be Jade who got in the accident.

The five of us were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. We had stopped crying a half hour ago. Now we just sat in silence.

Beck, Robbie and Rex, and Andre were all in the same position. Their elbows were on their knees, and they were supporting their heads in their hands. All three of them stared blankly at the floor. Robbie had Rex sitting next to him.

I was sitting next to Tori, who had her arms wrapped around me. I had my head on her shoulder, and my eyes were closed. Tori's eyes were closed too, which I knew because I had glanced up at her a minute ago.

We weren't asleep, just basking in the comfort of the other's presence.

As you may have figured out, I'm not the ditzy red head most people see me as. I'm actually really smart. I have a really wide vocabulary, and my thought process is way faster than anyone would think. But that's beside the point.

I opened my eyes as I heard footsteps. I expected it to be a doctor.

Sikowitz walked up to us without a word and sat down next to Beck. Beck didn't even seem to notice he had sat down.

I'm not sure how long we sat there. I'm not sure if I cried or slept or just stared at the nothingness.

The next thing I knew, a doctor was walking up to us. That got all of our attention.

"How is she?" asked Sikowitz.

The doctor sighed and lowered his head.

"We've done all we could," he said. That was all he said.

I glanced down at his clipboard and saw the words "Jadelynn August West – Room 394".

The next thing I knew, Tori and I were running as fast as our legs would allow us to room 394.

We got there, and we slowed down about 10 notches. My breathing was heavy, and my brain wasn't working right.

I looked over at Tori, whose eyes were wide, her face flushed.

Tori grabbed my hand. Not out of love, of course, out of best-friend-comfort. It was a sense of security.

We opened the door, and my knees about gave out on me.

Jade was hardly recognizable. She was bandaged from head to toe, casts around every limb, tubes attached in every possible place on her body.

Tori elicited a shaking , quivering breath. She nearly fell, but I put my body underneath her shoulder to keep her upright. My own knees were wobbly and my legs felt like jelly.

"Jade?" I asked, my voice nothing more than a mere whisper.

Jade turned her head ever so slightly to face us.

I saw the corners of her mouth curve up into a smile. The pain on her face was unmistakable, even to the untrained eye. Her icy blue eyes weren't as crisp and cool as they were. I watched in silence as her heart monitor beeped in a sort of odd pattern.

She opened her mouth, as though to say something, but closed it again. tori and I just stood there, in too much shock to do anything.

Jade reached her shaky hand out to us, so distorted by the cuts and bruises.

I never once would have thought it so easy for her to be so….broken. yet there she lay, unable to do anything at all.

The others walked in behind us quietly.

Jade didn't seem to be able to acknowledge them. She kept her eyes on me and Tori, her arm outstretched.

I walked almost cautiously up to Jade and put my hand near hers. She clasped her fingers around mine, the bandages scratching my skin. I felt tears in my eyes and sobs rising in my throat, but I didn't dare cry. I was going to stay strong for her.

Tori came up behind me, and Jade did something I never would have thought she'd do. She reached out her other hand to Tori.

Tori gratefully took it.

"Jade…Jade y-you know…you know I d-don't hate you right?" asked Tori, trying to find her voice. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Jade nodded, almost imperceptibly. She let go of our hands and put her hands together in a heart. Tori let out a breath that she had been holding in and smiled.

Beck and the others just watched silently. Suddenly Sikowitz stepped forward, and the boys followed.

"You're a great actress Jade," began Sikowitz, his voice thick.

Jade glanced at him and smiled again. "Thanks," she whispered.

"So how about we act like this never happened?" he asked. He knew it couldn't happen, I think he just wanted a way to compliment her, to say something before…you know.

Jade chuckled softly. She tried to clear her throat.

"Tori, I know you don't hate me. I don't hate you either. I have always cared about you," Jade said. It took her a while, since she got out of breath quickly. It looked like every breath she took, every word she said, was just adding to the pain.

**Tori POV**

"Tori, I know you don't hate me. I don't hate you either. I have always cared about you," Jade said between breaths. She had to pause to breathe a lot, which was not very promising.

My eyes flooded with tears, and my throat tightened. I smiled. This one wasn't forced, like all the other ones I had given tonight.

We stood in silence for a while, then Beck stepped forward. His eyes were full of tears, and the best way to explain his face was pure agony. He was scrunching his nose up in an attempt to stifle the cries that were bound to come.

Jade turned and faced her lover with sad, sympathetic eyes. Her usually pale face was flushed into a deep red, her icy blue eyes pink and bloodshot. Her breathing was odd and uneven.

"Beck…I'm so sorry," she said in a whisper. She took in a deep breath and tried to keep calm.

Beck sniffled. "For what, Jade? This isn't your fault. It's no one's fault," said Beck. He was fighting very hard to keep a straight face.

Out of courtesy, Cat and I stepped away from the bed so Jade and Beck could talk and say goodbye.

Beck sat at the edge of Jade's bed and took her hand. He kissed it ever so lightly, letting a tear slip from his eye.

"I wasn't paying attention. I should have paid attention to the road," said Jade, her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Jade don't go blaming this on yourself, understand? You did nothing wrong at all. It was a freak accident," said Beck, taking his girlfriend's face in his hands. Jade leaned into his hand and closed her eyes.

She opened them a moment later.

"I just want to remember that feeling," she murmured. Beck sniffed and nodded.

"I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. And no matter where you might be, or where I might be, I always will love you. Distance is only a label. It doesn't mean anything," said Beck. I had never heard anything so deep from him before. It made me tear up all over again.

Cat grabbed my arm and put it across her stomach. I wrapped my other arm across her stomach too and held onto her. She leaned into me.

Jade gave Beck a watery smile. "I know you love me, I never forget it. I will always love you, whether I'm here or somewhere else. And you're right, distance is only a label," she said.

Beck nodded and flashed a quick smile at Jade.

He leaned down and kissed her softly. Jade sighed as he pulled back.

Jade's heart monitor was slowing down now. I knew we were limited on time.

"Robbie, Andre?" said Jade. Beck moved to the other side of the bed so the two boys could come see her.

Robbie, as always, had Rex in his arms. He started to put Rex down, but Jade stopped him.

"No…don't put Rex down," she said. It was the first time she had ever addressed Rex as a non-puppet.

Robbie half-smiled as he went and kneeled down with Rex and Andre at the edge of her bed.

Jade glanced at the two boys and took a deep breath. She was very calm now.

"Andre…you have always been a great friend to me. Thank you for that. I love you, like a brother," said Jade. Andre grabbed her hand and nodded. He murmured something like "I love you too" to Jade.

Jade turned to Robbie and Rex.

As she did so, Robbie sort of looked down and ducked. It was his natural habit when he was around her.

"I won't hurt you Rob," she began softly, in a soothing tone. Robbie slowly moved his head up so he could see her eye to eye. His gaze softened, and he relaxed his tensed muscles.

"I'm sorry for annoying you all your life," he said, not breaking the eye contact.

"Robbie, you've never annoyed me. Truth be told, I love being around you. You're funny and sorta cute," Jade said. Beck didn't seem to be bothered by it. I remember Jade telling me and Beck at the same time how she sorta liked Robbie. Beck never minded it.

Robbie sighed and smiled at her, eyes glazed over with tears.

He hesitantly reached for her hand, seeking approval from Beck before he did so.

Beck nodded, and Robbie took her hand in his. Cat was shaking now in my arms.

"I still remember middle school you know," Jade said in a soft voice.

There was a silence as Robbie took in what he had just been told.

"You were my best friend back in middle school," Robbie replied, smiling at the memory.

"And you think that ever changed?" asked Jade. Robbie took a minute, but he got what she meant. He smiled wide.

The two of them said their final goodbyes, and the rest of us joined Jade at her bedside.

Jade reached up to her neck and shakily undid her necklace, and handed it to Beck. It had a gold chain, and a small jadestone with the words "Beck and Jade" engraved on it.

"I want you to have this," she said. "So you know I'll never be too far away."

The tears in my eyes overflowed, and they rolled down my face. Cat turned around in my arms and hugged me. I held her close to me.

Beck sniffed and nodded, putting the necklace around his neck.

"So…I guess this is goodbye?" I asked. I bit my lip, and soon started to taste blood.

Jade nodded, and a tear slid down her cheek.

"Jade no!" cried Cat, grabbing Jade's hand and kneeling down by her.

"Come on Jade, be that tough girl we all know," said Rex, speaking for the first time since we had been here.

"I can't…I'm gonna have to give up," she said. She sniffed and took in another deep breath.

"But you're not weak like that," whispered Andre. He wiped a tear that shed from his eye.

"Giving up doesn't mean you're weak," said Cat. She sniffled and tried to stop the river of tears flowing from her eyes.

Everyone turned and looked at her, waiting for her to continue. Unfortunately, she couldn't, because she started crying all over again.

"It just means you're strong enough to let go," finished Robbie. Jade smiled up at Robbie.

"Thanks, Potter," said Jade.

"Anytime, Malfoy," replied Robbie. It was one of their inside jokes. Robbie told me about it once. They always called each other Potter and Malfoy, because Robbie had glasses and black, messy hair, and Jade just reminded everyone of a Malfoy. Tough on the outside, but kind at heart.

Beck leaned down and kissed Jade once more.

"I love you guys. All five and a half of you, with all my heart," said Jade. We chuckled and smiled.

"We love you too," I said. Jade looked me straight in the eye, in a way that comforted me, that made me feel better.

"I'm gonna go now," Jade said. We nodded, and sobs rose in my throat. Cat didn't even try to hold them back.

Jade closed her eyes, a peaceful expression coming across her face.

And for the first time all night, she smiled. A real, genuine smile.

Her chest rose once more. The beeps from the heart monitor started to get farther and farther apart.

Her lips parted ever so slightly as she said her last words.

"I'll always love you."

Her chest fell for the last time. Her heart monitor went flat.

Jade West was dead.

**A/N: If I made you cry (which I doubt I did) I am so sorry! I hope you liked this. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! It makes my day when someone reviews. Thanks, I love you guys.**

**-BraveAtHeart**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry that I took so long to update. I just never got around to it yet. I really appreciate your feedback! :D I hope this one is as good as the other one apparently was.**

Chapter Two – The Next Day

**Cat POV**

She's gone.

I've tried denying it. I've tried telling myself she's just going to visit my daddy, because he's gone too. But I know she's gone, and she isn't coming back.

Last night was horrible. I know it was horrible, I know it was devastating, but the last thing I remember is hearing the flat, monotonous beep of Jade's heart monitor.

Jade. The name makes my heart wrench and makes tears flood my eyes every time I hear it. Because I know I won't be hearing the name Jade in a casual conversation anymore. I know I won't get to hear her voice anymore. I won't get to see her.

I lay in my bed, curled deep in the covers. Nothing felt right. My whole body ached. My mind ached. But the ache that stood out over all the others was the ache in my heart.

I sighed and looked over at the time. 12:03 PM on Saturday afternoon. Usually I would be surprised or at least have some reaction to the lateness, but I just couldn't. I was too numb.

I looked around for my phone, and soon found it sitting on the floor next to my bed. I picked it up with great difficulty, due to the fact that every move I made hurt, and clicked the unlock button. The screen showed that I had 13 new messages.

I wasn't sure I even wanted to read them. But I did. And after I did, I wished I hadn't.

There was one from Sikowitz, one from Lane, and one from Andre, Robbie, Rex, and Beck. I wondered who in the world would have sent 7 messages to me.

I looked down my message screen and saw the name Tori Vega with a little 7 next to it. I immediately clicked on it and read through her messages.

**Cat?**

**Sorry, I bet imp bothering you.**

**Ignore these messages.**

**Ok I know I said I'd leave u alone but at least tell me ur ok and u didn't do anything…**

**CAT?**

**Ok imp really scared now…please message me back soon!**

It was the last one that got me the most.

**Kitty I need u rite now…please please reply..**

Tears filled my eyes as I read that last message.

I replied with shaking hands.

**I'm awake now…**

I set my phone down and waited for it to vibrate. I tried to calm down, because crying wasn't going to help. It was just going to make it worse.

I thought I had calmed down, but all the sudden a wave of sobs racked my body. My small and frail frame shook violently, and tears streamed down my face. It felt like air was being ripped from my lungs.

For a moment there I didn't breathe, but when I breathed in, the sobbing wasn't silent anymore. It was very loud.

I screamed Jade's name over and over in my sobs. It was like last night hit me full effect again.

I clutched my pillow to my stomach and rocked back and forth as wave after wave hit me. I couldn't control it if I had tried to.

Out of nowhere, my ringtone started playing. It was Jade singing the song "Okay" which brought on more tears. I reached over and grabbed my phone.

"Hey…" I said, my voice shaky and uneven. It came out as nothing more than a whisper.

"Hey Cat," said Tori, in the same type of voice as me. She sounded sick and weak. Maybe we were. It's hard to tell.

I sniffled and took a deep breath before my attempt to speak. It was all I could do to stop myself from breaking down again like I had a couple minutes ago.

"I miss her already," I said. I pulled my covers up over my shoulders, with only my head and hand poking out from them. Every movement killed, and I gasped slightly as I readjusted my position.

I heard Tori sniffling on the other end.

"I miss her too Cat…I miss her too," she said. "Ow..." she whined as she moved.

"I…I don't know how I'm going to get on with my life. You know that old saying, you never realize what you have until its gone?" I said, referring to something Jade used to say a lot.

"Yeah…I know what you mean," said Tori. I reached up and wiped the tears off of my face.

There was a silence between us as we tried to think of something to say.

"Would…do you think it'd be wrong to go to her house…and take home one of her jackets?" I asked. If I could have one of her jackets, or her necklaces, or even her favorite black blanket, I would feel a little better. It would be nice to know that she was always there, whether I could see her or not.

"No that wouldn't be wrong…I'll come pick you up, ok? Don't bother getting normal clothes on. Just throw on a hoodie over your PJ's and I'll see you in ten minutes," said Tori, her normally perky voice dimming down to a monotonous tone.

"K," was all I had the heart to say. Tori hung up, and I slowly stood.

The ache in my body was more noticeable when I moved. It was everywhere…from my back to my stomach. From my head to my feet. It was absolutely excruciating.

I trudged into the bathroom, deciding to at least brush out my hair. I looked disastrous. My eyes were bloodshot and there were heavy bags under them. Tears stained my face.

I combed my hair out and brushed my teeth, feeling almost numb as I did so. I remembered the song "Numb" by Linkin Park that Jade so loved to play on piano.

I didn't bother to put a jacket on, even though it was not even ten degrees outside. In a couple minutes, Tori pulled into my driveway.

I walked carefully out to her car and slid in, wincing as I did so. I was almost afraid to speak, but I don't know why.

"It hurts, I know," said Tori in a hoarse voice. She sounded so broken. So frail.

I nodded, and we drove off in silence.

**At Jade's House**

**Tori POV**

We arrived at Jade's house in about 10 minutes. Cat and I were silent the whole ride there. I think we were both still in shock at the sudden death of our best friend.

I stepped out of the car with great difficulty, as the pain was getting to an unbearable point. Cat held onto me for support as we walked up the steps to Jade's house.

I rapped on the wooden door, the silvery ornate edges gleaming in the sunlight. I saw Jade's mom walk up to the door and open it. She looked at us with sympathetic eyes.

"Can…can we come in?" I asked.

"Yes, of course honey…" Jade's mom, Christina, said to me. She guided us in, putting a hand on each of our shoulders to support us as we walked inside. Cat and I sat down on the couch, and a million memories flooded in as we did so. Movie nights…sleepovers…

"Do your parents know you're here?" asked Christina. Her eyes were glassy with tears, and she held a cup of hot coffee in her hands. I could see her hands shaking.

"No…" said Cat before I got the chance. She leaned into me, and I put an arm around her.

"Ok…I'll give them a call to let them know. And if you girls need anything, just holler. I'll be down in the den," said Christina, almost as if Cat and I were getting ready to upstairs and drag Jade down for movie night. I almost smiled at the memory of us poking Jade in the sides nonstop until she came down, and she ended up enjoying movie night. We made it a tradition. In fact, tonight would have been movie night. I sighed.

Cat and I nodded, then walked slowly upstairs to Jade's room.

The room itself had a three-color color scheme; all I could see was black, white, and deep purple. Everything seemed in perfect place. Jade's bed was perfectly made, her purple, black, and white pillows stacked on top of the black satin bed sheets. Her TV was in the corner as it always was, and the three chairs she had sat in a row in front of it. Things were left on her dresser just as they were before.

Tears welled up in my eyes. It was almost hard to be here. It didn't feel right.

Cat sat down on the end of Jade's bed, looking around the room. Her face was turning a deep red, and tears glazed over her eyes. She shook her head, as though trying not to believe Jade was really gone.

I looked over on Jade's dresser and saw her favorite necklace. It had a thin silver chain with a dog tag made of pure obsidian attached to it, with the word "Jadelynn" carved into it. She had worn it every day.

I picked it up carefully, as though it were fragile and could break if I made a fast movement. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I stared down at the name.

A pair of arms slid around me, and I leaned into them.

After a moment of silence, I pulled away from Cat.

She looked at me with sad, sad eyes.

I walked up to her and put Jade's necklace on her. She turned around, and I clasped the hook together to keep it in place.

Cat turned back around and grasped the obsidian tight in her hands.

Seeing as I thought Cat deserved to have Jade's necklace, I walked over to her closet. The clothes were just as I had last seen them.

I looked over at her hoodies and jackets. I saw one of Jade's favorites, a black and purple Jack Skeleton one, which was baggy on her. She had let me wear it once when she picked me up from a late night play practice, and it was cold and rainy outside.

I took it off of the hanger and put it on. I zipped it up and wrapped it close around me, then closed my eyes.

I thought of her. Jade. I thought of all of our memories together. I thought of all of those great conversations we had, and the conversations we won't be able to have. All those things I wanted to tell her, but will never get the chance to say.

"I gotta get out of here…I can't take this," Cat whispered. I nodded.

Cat and I walked downstairs and then down to the den.

Christina looked up at us and noticed what we were wearing. She sighed and smiled slightly.

"You can have them if you want," she said quietly.

"Thank you," we replied. I hugged the jacket just a bit closer.

We stood in silence, and the pain was getting almost too much to bear.

"We need to go home…it's too hard to be here," said Cat, tears streaming down her face now.

Christina nodded.

"I understand. It'll be alright girls. Talk to you later. Thanks for stopping by," she replied. We nodded and got out as fast as we could.

The car ride home was just a blur. I don't even know how I managed to drive without getting us into a car wreck, because I was crying so hard I could barely breathe.

I pulled up in Cat's driveway, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.

Cat sat in her seat, staring down at the floor, tears streaming down her face.

We sat in silence for a while, then she spoke up.

"I don't know if I can do this Tori," she said, and she looked up at me with sad eyes. All I saw was pure agony.

I sighed and looked down.

"I know Cat. I know," I said. She sighed.

"Talk to you later," she said, then stepped out of the car and headed inside.

**10:00 PM **

**Tori POV Still**

I lay down in my bed, tired from grieving all day today.

I didn't even cover up. I pulled Jade's jacket, which I hadn't taken off since I got it today, close around me and closed my eyes.

I breathed in. it smelled like her.

I started to fall asleep thinking of all the memories we had. All the memories I would never forget.

_I already miss you Jade, _I thought. I sighed.

Within minutes, I fell asleep, my last thought being Jade's smiling face.

**A/n: I know this was horrible! I'm sorry! Please read and review though! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again! I am just on a writing spree lately, haha! I really like this story so I wanted to keep writing chapters. I don't know where this is going to go, but wherever it goes, I hope you like it! **

**And just so you know, like the other two chapters, this is a Catorade story, therefore it will only be based around Cat, Jade, and Tori. I love all the characters the same, but I love the girls' friendship so much. **

**And yes, Tori and Jade are friends. They just refuse to admit it. :P**

**K, onto the story.**

Chapter Three – The School's Memorial

**Tori POV**

Two days it's been now. Two days it's been, since Jade was killed. Frankly, I don't know I have made it this long. I would have never imagined that 48 hours without her would hurt me so much. If only she knew….

I have flat out ignored every single word anyone has said to me, every text anyone has sent to me, every email, and every comment on The Slap. The only person I have responded to is Cat. It seems as though the only time my voice or fingers work is when I'm talking to her.

I sat up early on Monday morning in bed, shaking. I wasn't cold in the least, even though I had shorts and a tank top on. I was shaking out of fear, out of loss of all sanity. I never knew how much I needed her.

I had put Jade's jacket in my closet because I had taken a shower last night before I went to bed (or attempted to). In a daze, I stood up and shakily walked over to my closet and opened the door. I grabbed her jacket off of the hanger it was on, immediately slipping it onto my body. I zipped it up and put the hood up, then pulled it close to me as I lied back down on my bed.

The shaking subdued in about five minutes, thankfully. Not long after that ended, I heard my phone buzz.

I got up and picked it up off of my dresser. I looked down at the name of who was texting me, ready to put it down if it was anyone but Cat.

But, it was Cat, so I had to look and see what it was.

"Andre texted me…I didn't reply of course, but he told me the school's having a memorial for Jade today. He also said that the school wanted me and u to sing or something 4 her…"

I sighed. I knew I was going to go to the memorial, no matter how hard I tried to stop myself. I had to go. It seemed right. I wanted to sing for Jade, to tell her what I never got the chance to say before last Friday night. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to find my voice, but I was going to try.

"K…I'll be there. I'll sing 2." I replied.

Cat replied soon after.

"K. I'll sing too. What time should we be there?" I asked.

"Idk…how about we get there at 7, the memorial is going to be right at 7:50 when class starts," Cat suggested.

"K." I replied.

"Can I come over…?" Cat asked.

"My house is ur house." I replied. Cat soon replied as well, saying she would be here in about ten minutes.

It was only then that I checked the time. 3:30 AM. I don't think anyone has gotten much sleep this weekend, much less been on a regular sleep schedule. For all I know, we might all be awake right now. I knew at least three of us were.

I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth, so I looked presentable at least. I grabbed my glasses off of my dresser and headed downstairs to wait for Cat.

About halfway down the stairs, I noticed it was raining. Thinking the rain would feel good, I took off Jade's jacket and hung it back up, then headed downstairs again. I quietly opened my front door and walked outside.

I was right. The cool rain felt amazing on my skin. I don't know what it was about it, but I loved it.

In a couple of minutes, a soaking wet Cat walked up to my house. She herself wore only short shorts and a tank top.

"Cold?" I asked her. She shook her head no and nodded towards the bench outside my door. The two of us sat down.

We sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the smell of rain and the feel of it hitting our skin.

Out of nowhere, Cat started crying. Bawling, even.

I wrapped my arms around her and whispered comforting words.

"Cat…shh it's going to be ok…" I said, wanting to cry myself. Cat rocked back and forth in my arms, trying to calm down. Tears poured down her face as fast and hard as the rain falling onto us.

She finally calmed down, but she started choking and sputtering. I just held onto her until it all stopped completely.

My throat started feeling parched and dry from trying to keep the tears back. I looked up and opened my mouth, letting the rainwater trickle down my throat.

Cat did the same, and winced in pain as she swallowed the water.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Trina burst through the door, looking distraught.

"T-…Tori, Cat, what are you doing, you're going to get sick!" she said exasperatedly. She grabbed each of our arms and pulled us inside, still dripping wet.

"Stay here," she said, then ran upstairs.

A few moments later, she came down with towels. She wrapped the towels around Cat and I and had us sit down on the couch.

"Now I want you two to stay inside, do you understand me?" asked Trina. She sounded very serious.

"Y-yes," I replied, a bit shocked at how freaked out she was.

Trina sighed and shook her head.

"I just can't afford to lose anyone else right now," she said quietly, then walked upstairs.

I sighed and leaned back in the couch.

"I can't freaking do this," I said. Cat didn't respond.

I just sighed and closed my eyes.

**7 AM – Hollywood Arts**

**Cat POV**

Tori and I pulled into the Hollywood Arts building. It was almost like going to some foreign place that we'd never been to before, because it just didn't feel right to be there.

I had borrowed one of Tori's dresses, a dark purple, simple one. I put my hair up into a bun. I looked reasonable, and that was ok with me. I know Jade wouldn't have worried about how fancy we looked.

Tori had worn a black dress that was super simple like the one she had lent me, and straightened her hair. Neither of us had worn makeup, since we knew we were probably going to cry, which wasn't going to mix well with makeup.

We got out and walked briskly through the rain and into the school. I didn't expect anyone to be there except for maybe Sikowitz, who would probably be helping to set up in the auditorium.

As we stepped inside, I was thankful that the lights were dim, because I had been sitting in the dark for the past two days and that wouldn't feel too good to go from super dark to super light in the blink of an eye.

I looked around, thinking we just might see someone. I didn't see anyone, but as soon as I was about to conclude that no one was here yet, I saw Beck stroll into our view.

Without hesitation, we walked up to each other.

We just stood there in silence for a couple seconds. Then, as if we had telekinesis and read each other's thoughts, we all went in for a hug. Beck's strong arms held Tori and I tightly to him. I just closed my eyes and let the warmth and security of Beck fill me.

We finally let go after about literally five minutes.

I tried to find my voice, but I couldn't make a sound.

"Keep trying," whispered Beck.

Finally I did find my voice, and so did Tori.

The three of us sat on the steps, and tori and I huddled against Beck for that sense of security that we so needed.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you the past two days," I said, my voice hoarse from not talking much.

"Me too. It was stupid to push you away and I…" tori said, her voice trailing off as tears filled her eyes.

"It's ok. I understand," said Beck. Tori and I let out a sigh of relief.

We sat there in silence again until someone else walked in.

Andre walked inside the building with his head down in sorrow. I had never seen Tori move as fast as she did when she jumped up and ran into Andre's arms.

I leaned into Beck even more. He wrapped his arms around me instinctively.

Andre held tightly onto Tori, and I saw her starting to shake with suppressed sobs.

I didn't know it would be this hard to see our friends again. I don't know why it is either.

I closed my eyes, and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I was a bit surprised when I felt little droplets landing on my head. I looked up to see Beck with his eyes closed, a stoical expression on his face, and tears streaming down his own cheeks.

Tori and Andre came and sat by me and Beck. We all sat there in silence. We couldn't find the words to say, for one, and two, sometimes silence is the best kind of comfort. At least for me it was.

It was until Robbie walked in that I was able to keep my composure.

As soon as he walked in, I did the same thing as Tori. I leaped into his arms and started sobbing my eyes out.

At about 7:30, we headed into the auditorium and waited for the ceremony to begin.

**8:30 AM**

**Singing – Tori POV**

So we had been in the memorial for forty minutes now, and it was so hard. There were pictures of her everywhere. There were banners saying "We'll Miss You Jade" strung everywhere possible. The theme of the whole thing was black and dark purple. And the speeches that Sikowitz and our singing class teacher gave were so heartfelt and emotional that I couldn't help but cry too.

"And now, we have two wonderful young ladies performing two separate songs in memory of Jadelynn West. Allow me to welcome Victoria Vega singing the song 'When the Last Teardrop Falls' by Blaque, and for Andre Harris, Caterina Valentine, Robert Shapiro, and Beckett Oliver to be playing backup for her," said Sikowitz. He mopped furiously at his eyes as he sat down in his seat. I walked up to the podium and said a few words before I sang.

"Even though it may not have seemed like it, I truly cared about Jade. Nothing ever changed that and nothing ever will. If only she had known that…" I said, my voice trailing.

"Anyhow…like Mr. Sikowitz said, I am going to be singing When the Last Teardrop Falls," I said. I turned back and made a signal for Cat and them to start playing.

"It's so hard to lose the one you love to finally to have to say goodbye you try to be strong but the pain keeps holding on and all that you can do is cry.

Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on, and the fairy tale you once knew is gone.

When the last tear drop falls I'll still be holding on to all of of memories and all of what used to be. When the last tear drop falls I will stand tall and know that your here with me in my heart when the last tear drop falls," I sang. That was about all I could manage, and it was all that the others could manage as well.

We cut it off right there, and the whole auditorium erupted in cheers and claps.

After the applause died down, Cat walked up and introduced her song.

"I'm going to be singing Wherever I Go by Miley Cyrus and Emily Osment. It's not really specifically for this situation, but you'll understand what I mean," Cat said. I sat down at the piano and began to play at Cat's signal.

"Here we are now  
>Everything is about to change<br>We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday  
>A chapter ending but the stories only just begun<br>A page is turning for everyone," Cat sang. She motioned for us to join in.

"So I'm moving on  
>Letting go<br>Holding on to tomorrow  
>I've always got the memories while I'm finding out who I'm gonna be<br>We might be apart but I hope you always know  
>You'll be with me wherever I go<br>Wherever I go," we all sang together.

We had to cut it off there again, and this time we got a standing ovation from the crowd. I saw tears streaming down many faces.

I soon found myself embraced by many arms as we stood there watching the crowd, tears running down our faces.

_I miss you so much Jade, _I thought, as I almost start sobbing all over again.

_I miss you SO much. And right now, all I wish is for you to be able to be here and actually say "I know," _I thought. My tears were blurring my vision.

_If only you knew Jade. If only you knew…_

**A/N: So…good? Bad? Horrible? Tell me what you think! By the way…what would you all say to a Hunger Games/Victorious crossover? :D**

**Read and review the story, and answer my question! **


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